Happy May Day? Because of all the snow I have ANOTHER snow day at work. I am going to head into work in a little bit after they plow my apartment complex, and after my Dr's appointment to get fit for orthotics. Because of the snow day I have had some extra time to ponder, and maybe it's just the crappy weather, but I don't think I want to run a half marathon. I don't want to be a quitter, but I just don't think I am a runner. Running the 2 5k's was ok, and I'm going to run my two 10k's (the Bolder Boulder and the Color Run), but I just don't think I want to do a half marathon. Maybe some day I will, but I don't think I want to right now.
I sat down and thought about what my original goals were when I started working out. I wanted to get in shape, I wanted to be healthy, and I wanted a body I could be proud of. Running seemed like the obvious thing to do. Anyone can do it, you can do it anywhere, it requires virtually no equipment, and it burns lots of calories. No brainer. I started plodding along running one minute and then walking another, and reading every motivational blog I could get my hands on. They all said the same thing SET GOALS. So I did. I knew I wanted to run a 5k, but after I ran my first mile I decided something crazy. My crazy brain decided hey I should run a half marathon. I found a plan and thought I could do it in 6 months. I have been running for 3 months now (long enough they say it should be a habit) and I just don't like it.
Running outside when it's nice I don't mind it's kind of relaxing and good for my mind, but I don't like this whole "training" thing. I don't like forcing myself to do things I don't want to do and 9 times out of 10 I don't. I haven't ran since Saturday because I DREAD the idea of dong 4 miles on a dreadmill, seriously can't think of many other things that sound worse. I think "training" for this half is getting in the way of my real goal, which was to get in shape. I talk myself OUT of going to the gym because I don't have time to get my run in AND do a strength workout. If I can't do both I don't go at all. I went to a bootcamp class 2 weeks ago and really like it. I had a plan to start going to the gym every morning and I'd do my run and then do the 7:00/7:30 class they offer each day. Well realistically to get to the gym and get in my run before the 7:00 am class I have to wake up at 5:45 and lately I am NOT a morning person. So I hit the snooze and go back to sleep. And that's if I plan on running on the treadmill at the gym, if it's nice and I wanted to run outside I would have to be up at 5:30 to be at the park by 6 to be done by 6:45. And that's pushing it! If I was only going to do the class I wouldn't have to be up till 6:30. Right now I get up some time between 6:45 and 7:00 so 6:30 sounds a lot more doable!
I also really love my Nike workouts, but I have a hard time finding time to do both a run and the workout. And I know this is just a crap load of excuses, and that if it's important you find a way, but that's just it running isn't important to me. I don't like running, and I don't feel good after a run. I hear people talk about running highs and how they feel so awesome after they run and I don't get that. I never have and I don't think I ever will. I feel tired, and that's it. The only happy/good feeling I have is that I'm not mad at myself for skipping a workout. I think if I were to quit "training" and just start working out I would skip far fewer workouts, and I would reach my real goal of getting in shape.
Through my work we have a wellness program. It's a really awesome program with all sorts of resources, and part of it is a goal setting part. I set all these goals 3 months ago for myself fitness wise such as being able to do 25 push-ups, be able to do 3 pull ups, 45 sit ups in a minute, and run a 5k. The only goal I have reached is the 5k one. While I am proud of myself for reaching that goal I really fell like I dropped the ball everywhere else. I have been so focused on running that I haven't focused on any other parts of my fitness or wellness. I have a wellness coach that calls and checks up with me every 3 months on the goals I set and I will be talking with her tonight, and I'm honestly really bummed/disappointed that I will have to tell her the only goal I reached was running a 5k. I'm not throwing in the towel yet, but I am definitely reevaluating. I'm off to run the stupid 4 miles, on the stupid dreadmilll, because of the stupid snow. I will post some recipes later tonight I just wanted to get out what was weighing on me this morning, hope everyone is having a warmer day than I am!
Partner man has been doing some pondering of his own this morning too :-)
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